Sort of, almost, not quite perfect

The other day a friend of mine commented about how well behaved my children are, how lucky I am to have such a great family, and how I must be such a patient mom. I considered telling her about all the crazy s*#t that goes at my house, just to prove how imperfect we are, but then - I don't know - it was kind of nice having someone think we're the perfect family. So I just thanked her with a oh we're not that perfect comment, and let it go. Except I couldn't let it go...not in my head. I know that I am blessed, fortunate, lucky - whatever you want to call it - to have two healthy and happy children, a wonderful husband, and the coolest dog in the world, and I am eternally grateful for the many pains in life that I have been spared. But...sometimes it just doesn't feel so perfect. Not that I would trade a second with my kids for anything, but I'd be lying if I said every moment was bliss.

It's 8:00am as I write this, and all of the following happened between 6:45am and dropping my kids off at school twenty minutes ago:

6:45am
Vidya: I want to take a bath this morning.
Me: There's no time for a bath. I woke you up too late. You can take one tonight instead.
Vidya: (High whiney voice) But you said I could take one in the morning. Why'd you wake me up late?
Me: It doesn't matter. There's nothing you can do about it now. Just get dressed and go brush your teeth. Do you want waffles for breakfast.
Vidya: I don't know. I'm not hungry yet.
Me: Well you can't wait for the last minute because I won't have time to make anything then.

7:15am
Mari: Mommy can I go outside?
Me: Sure, just make sure you don't go near the pool.

You see, last night Mari clumsily fell into the freezing pool, fully clothed in her school uniform and school shoes, which are still soaked and probably destroyed. So, I'm sure you can understand my frustration when I glance out the window and she is bending over the side of the pool to feel the temperature of the water.

Me: (In a raised voice, since I *cough* don't yell) What was the LAST thing I said to you before you went outside?
Mari: (With her hand still submerged in the water) Not to go near the pool.
Me: Then what are you doing?
Mari: Checking the temperature. It feels warm, Mommy. You should feel it.
Me: Get inside!

7:20am
Vidya: Mommy I can't find my shoes.
Me: Where did you take them off yesterday?
Vidya: By the shoe rack.
Me: Then look by the shoe rack.
Vidya: I did, but they're not there.
Me: I don't know. I can't keep track of everyone's shoes in the house. I have to finish making your lunches and get your backpacks packed. Just find them.
Vidya: But they're not anywhere. I've checked the whole house. Mari's are there. And they're dry already.
Me: Mari's shoes are still soaked in the laundry room.

*Lighbulb* Upon further inspection, it is Vidya's shoes - that Mari had been wearing when she fell into the pool - soaked and ruined in the laundry room.

Me: Mari, were you wearing Vidya's shoes yesterday when you fell into the pool?
Mari: Maybe. I just grabbed a pair from the shoe rack.
Vidya: Great! Now I have to wear soaking wet shoes to school, and everyone will think I fell in the pool.
Me: Let's not be so dramatic. Just find a different pair. We'll get you a new pair this weekend.
Vidya: Is Mari going to get a new pair of shoes?
Me: I'm not discussing this right now. Just find some shoes.
Mari: Why don't I get a new pair?
Me: Both of you just put on some shoes and stop talking!

7:30am
Me: It's 7:30 we have to leave.
Vidya: Where are my waffles?
Me: I didn't make any waffles. You never told me what you wanted.
Vidya: Can I please have some waffles?
Me: It's too late now. You're both just going to have to grab a granola bar.
Mari: I don't want a granola bar.
Me: Then don't eat anything. It's a granola bar or nothing. You decide.

7:40am
Pulling into the school parking lot.
Vidya: Mommy, you know what I can't wait for?
Me: What's that, baby?
Vidya: I can't wait until I have enough money to buy my own car so I can sneak out in the middle of the night.
Me: That's nice, sweetie. Love you! Have a great day!

My new nightmare!!